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a refreshingly unconventional helping hand

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Phone: 847-293-8593

The World Is Your Locker

October 21, 2016 by Sherrie Marchi Leave a Comment

img_9583One week ago our son who is a Freshman proudly brought home his brand new High School hooded sweatshirt. He’s worn it almost every day…until today.

Flashback***at his elementary and middle school there were around 300 kids. If something was left behind, one of the teachers or fellow students would likely put it in the lost and found by the next morning.

It was very hard to wear someone’s garment from the lost and found, as everyone would recognize what belonged to whom.

Such is not the case now at a High School of 3,400 students.

This morning I received a stressed-sounding text from my son, “I thought I left my (new hoodie) in a classroom, but now it’s not there. It’s not in the lost and found, either!”

Our older son, a senior in HS, can often be heard grumbling about his younger brother’s belongings piling up around the house, or in the car, as it were. Older son will say to younger son, “The car is not your locker!”, as he shoves younger brothers’ things aside to fit his own stuff in the back seat of my compact car.

As the mom of these guys, I can be heard reciting many of my broken record mantras each day. For the younger, it’s usually “Clean up your spot”. His “spot” is his place at the kitchen table that I move all his stuff to, in my attempt to tidy the house. It does actually get picked up on occasion.

My heart is sad for the young’un. I know he’s really bummed. But now I don’t need to be the broken record anymore. Now I get to stand back and let him (and his big brother) absorb the consequences. I’ve harped on certain things for so long, and now I harp no more.

A few months ago, older son was at a park in a large city with some friends. It was dusk and he set down his backpack, with all his belongings inside, on the ground by some trees. He walked just a short distance away to film some video of his friends, and when he returned to his backpack, it was gone – along with all it’s contents which were both important and/or special to him.

I had to bite my tongue. It was really challenging not to ask, “What were you thinking?!”. They don’t need to feel any worse. If I did say something, it would turn their resentment toward me, and off of themselves. My job now is to put my arm around their shoulders and say, “Wow, that really sucks – I’m sorry to hear that.” In other words, be on their side with them, with a fudgy swirl of compassion twirling through our interaction. We can look at the proverbial puddle of spilled milk together as I ask, “What are you going to do about that?”.

The unspoken message in my question is that I trust them to figure it out – that they’re competent of such a task.

I learned this technique from a book called, “Parenting with Love and Logic”. I feel so much more aligned employing that tactic, than I would being snarky to those I love so fiercely.

In one and three years respectively, these boys will launch into their own lives. It’s time for me to step back and let them have a taste of driving their own bus. After all, I want for them to have some savvy when they leave home.

I hear too often that the shock of college or moving out is just too big and overwhelming. Doing laundry, getting up and out of the shower themselves, having their things ready to go in the morning, so they’re not frantically searching for stuff when they’re supposed to be getting on a train.

Each little hurdle they can learn to clear before they leave home, is one less they’ll be smacked between the eyes with when they leave the nest.

This is easier said than done, however, our self management now will be the gift that keeps on giving later.

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Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: letting go, parenting

On Parenting

October 7, 2016 by Sherrie Marchi 1 Comment

Oh, the humanity!

Having not a healthy, nurturing model to draw upon from my own childhood, I was always reluctant to start a family of my own. I had always sensed I would make a lousy parent and that for the good of all I should refrain from having children.

If you’d rather skip the context of my history, please skip forward to the section below, titled “NUGGETS”.

True story – a little over a month after Steve and I got married, we moved to Rapid City, South Dakota, where I’d longed to live for over half my life. Over the course of the next three years, we made great friends and enjoyed a vibrant, eclectic social life. I had finally secured the job I’d dreamt of for years – I was an Art Director at an Ad Agency. Very glamorous and fancy, indeed. Super posh, artsy office, great clients, co-workers and the best boss ever.

Late one Saturday night during a blizzard, I was alone, sitting in my posh, artsy office working on a campaign for a client and felt a wave of discontent come over me. The glamour, salary, and poshness weren’t enough. I thought that’s what I wanted, yet upon arriving at my goal I found it to be soul-crushingly disappointing. The disappointment quickly turned to panic; this was all I knew how to do, it’s what my education and my life’s experience had prepared me for.

Sitting right there at my cool desk, I looked up at the ceiling and said, “if there is anything out there, show me the purpose of my life”. I don’t even know where those words came from.

One month later, with only one fallopian tube, I was pregnant.

I knew instantly that this was the response to my late-night-blizzard inquiry. There could be no other possible explanation why this was happening now, after not doing anything differently during the preceding 3+ years. Like it or not, this was the purpose of my life.

At that moment, EVERYTHING changed. I had been on anti-anxiety medications for 10 years. I quit them cold turkey (I DO NOT recommend this). My cool job? It lasted about two months and then my depression and mood swings became so erratic that I could no longer function in the work environment, and I was let go. My vibrant social life came to a screeching halt, as I didn’t want to be around people who were partying and having fun. I began taking freelance design jobs from miscellaneous organizations. Mostly though, I cried, slept, threw heavy things at my husband…and read every parenting book I could get my hands on. Hell or high water, I was on a mission to make myself into a suitable mother.

That’s how our family began.

Since the beginning I’ve felt the tug of war inside me. “Do we start planning for college now? Do we crack the whip and make sure they achieve, achieve, ACHIEVE? How do we have a baby?

My maternal instinct kicked in immediately. I don’t know how, but I knew from the get go that we were birthing naturally and non-invasively, using a midwife, nursing, and playing music to the fetus by putting headphones around my expanding belly.

I spoke to the baby and told it how afraid I was to let it down; to ruin its life. I explained about how its maternal grandparents were really nice, but batshit crazy. I read to it. Steve read to it. I ate all the right stuff, kept out all the bad stuff. And, I read, and read, and read, and read.

By the end of the pregnancy, I knew everything. Or so I thought. I would soon learn that implementing all that cool stuff I read about was going to be a whole different ballgame.

Nolan came to join us at the end of September, just six days before his dad’s birthday. Due to a complication at birth, he needed help breathing in the NICU for the first 5 days of his life. I felt like that was the Universe saying, “You’re lucky to have this baby, but in case of any doubt, let’s see if you know how lucky you are!” That five days, pumping milk, staying at a hotel, up every two hours and back to the hospital to feed… that galvanized me. If there was any doubt, it was surely gone by the time we brought our little bundle home.

I read about attachment parenting. It made perfect sense to me. We never had a crib – both of our sons slept with us until they were 9 or 10 years old. I liked this idea because it created a sweet, soft nest for us to land in, ending each day by snuggling together no matter how bumpy the day might’ve been.

As I went along, we learned who we were as parents. Like many contexts in our lives we learned by process of elimination – “No, not that!”- as much as what felt good and right.

We’re not the over zealous type. Not the religious type. Not the neglectful type. Turns out, we liked being the intuitive type – being with what arose in the moment.

While we lived in South Dakota, that was easy. I was isolated and didn’t know other new moms. I had a few friends with much older children, so I made it up as I went along.

When Nolan was 9 months old we moved back to suburban Chicago. It was then I realized that there was a whole bunch of have-to’s and hoops to jump through if my kid was going to be able to keep up with the Jones’ kids. Not that I cared so much about the Jones’, but I did not want my new son to be at a disadvantage. I thought I’d better pay attention to the trends if I didn’t want my son to be left spinning like a top, in the dust.

Since that time I’ve felt the tug-of-war inside me. Intuitively, my instincts direct me one way, and the current of popular parenting philosophy, the opposite. I attribute my lack of confidence in following my own instincts to this dichotomy, and the fear of putting my children at a disadvantage.

I have not raised these children by myself. Their dad and I are married and co-parent them. I want to distinguish that this is my story, as my husband does not fight the internal battles that I do. To his credit, he is unshakable in his confidence to “Be Here Now”. He flows with each moment, and I have often mistaken that for lack of attentiveness. I want to make that distinction before continuing.

We had a second son when Nolan was three years old. I’ve spent the last 17 years second guessing myself, back and forth between hounding our boys to do their work, clean their rooms, asking who they’re with, about their grades and effort, all while losing sight of the forest through the trees.

NUGGETS

Feeling on the verge of utter madness, while talking to a friend, she recommended a book to me called “How To Raise An Adult – Break Free of the Over Parenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid For Success”, by Julie Lythcott-Haims.

What’s fascinating is that Julie Lythcott-Haims is a former Dean at Stanford University. In this book she discusses in depth, the disservice we do to our beloved children by over-parenting them, taking on too many of their responsibilities, subsequently eroding their autonomy and confidence in taking risks. She also discusses the brokenness of the college admission process.  While I have gleaned much wisdom from this book so far, perhaps the greatest nugget of all is that my maternal instinct is right on the money, and less exciting to admit, my husband has been (mostly) right all along.

I have often judged his easygoing nature as negligent or laissez-faire. After some consideration, I can see that it also serves as trusting these boys to lean into their own instincts and intuition. That is what I’ve preached all along, while intermittently allowing myself to get swept up in the madness of harping on them which only served to drive a wedge between us.

(Heavy sigh…) This parenting business is NOT for sissies!

According to Vanderbilt University’s department of Developmental Psychology, in psychology today, there are four major recognized parenting styles: authoritative, neglectful, permissive, and authoritarian. Please click the link to learn about the traits of each, and possibly things you didn’t know about your parenting style. In doing this myself, I discovered that like many of us, I’m a combination of all of them.

What I know for sure is that harping, nagging, second guessing and enabling are not helpful behaviors for kids, or for parents. I believe we all come here with innate knowing that helps us get through our own lives, as well as parenting our children. No book, doctor, or in-law can tell us more than we already know. Our job is to lean into our own knowing and don’t be afraid to trust that we know what is best for our children. Sometimes, our knowing directs us to seek the help of a professional. Regardless of what your knowing is telling you, by paying attention to how it feels, you’ll know if it feels right, or wrong. That is a wonderful, rich place to start!

And remember, we’re not meant to do this alone. It really does take a village. No one person has all the answers. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. By doing so, not only are you opening a door to receive help, but you’re also setting a powerful example for your young ones. After all, they do what we do much more than do what we say.

Due to the sheer vastness of this topic, I would love to hear your nuggets.  Please share in the comments below!

Cheers!

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: parenting, raising children

Borrowed Love

September 23, 2016 by Sherrie Marchi 1 Comment

img_7943Our sweet Gracie Girl left us almost eight months ago. My heart hasn’t been the same since. I wondered if something was wrong with me that I couldn’t get back to feeling like myself two, three, even six months after her death.

Since I was small, I have been keenly aware that I value animals as much as people. After Gracie passed away, it occurred to me that her presence was medicine for me; for my heart. This week, I discovered that to be true.img_9125

Some friends of our family asked us to take care of their beloved family pet, Seven, while they went vacation. We agreed, after all, it had been too long without a furry love here in our house with us.

Ten days ago, our guest arrived, and his visit for me has been absolutely medicinal. His penchant for snuggling, sense of humor, his quirkiness and sweet, calm demeanor had an influence over our busy and sometimes inflamed household, at least for me, like Pepto Bismol being poured over my heart and aching soul.

img_1916Seven prefers to be with people, preferably on a lap, or lying across them on the sofa despite his fully grown Doberman Pinscher body. His funny little quirks included lifting his butt cheek up and planting it on a surface like a human would, or just walking up to me and resting his sweet face squarely in the middle of whatever I was doing. Such a lover, this guy!

This boy’s love breathed new life into me, and reminded me of how life-affirming it is to have a furry love with me here at my house, and that it didn’t have to necessarily be Gracie. It did feel a little strange watching another dog play with her favorite toys or lying on her beds, but it also reminded me that life goes on after the loss of a precious friend, and if I find a new precious friend feeling guilt isn’t necessary or helpful.

This borrowed source of love has reminded me of the joy I can feel when spending time with furry relatives.

Do you know how it feels to have a furry love in your life?

Filed Under: Love Tagged With: love, pets

Be exquisitely true to yourself

May 22, 2016 by Sherrie Marchi 1 Comment

“Be exquisitely true to yourself… Be exquisitely true to yourself.” 

It shows up again and again…this thought visiting me repeatedly.

“Why”, I finally asked? What’s the message here?

In examining the phrase I feel and hear that it’s subtly different from “be true to yourself”.

In all the 48 years I’ve been alive, I’d be rich if I had a nickel for each time I heard the phrase, “be true to yourself.” It shows up in all manner of places and contexts. Admit it, you have probably said it yourself.

The phrase stems from a famous quote in Shakespeare’s Hamlet. After doing some poking around, I found the following on literarydevices.net:

“Shakespeare has used this phrase in Act-I, Scene-III, lines 78-82 of his play, Hamlet. Polonius has spoken these words as a token of advice to his son, Laertes, at the time of his departure to Paris. He says:

This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!

Scholars have spent a lot of time deciding what Shakespeare meant here. In the context of the play it could be a reminder to Laertes to be honest in his actions and relationships, that it is only if he is honest in these he can judge himself properly and that Laertes should think of his own benefit first and be true to it.

Today, the statement has evolved to where there is more of a live your truth, self empowerment vibe to the phrase. It’s become commonplace to hear this quote used when encouraging someone to choose autonomy and personal power.

I see the phrase a bit differently. The intuitive hit continues to show up for me, “Be exquisitely true to yourself.” What difference does this one word “Exquisitely” make? I decided to research the word’s meaning.

I found some good nuggets on dictionary.com. The bits that made my insides sing with resonance were:

  • Of rare excellence of production or execution, as works of art or workmanship: the exquisite statues of the Renaissance.
  • Keenly or delicately sensitive or responsive: an exquisite ear for music; an exquisite sensibility.
  • Carefully sought out, chosen, ascertained, devised, etc.
  • The Latin exquīsītus meticulous, early 15c., “carefully selected,” from Latin exquisitus “carefully sought out,” thus, “choice,”
  • Of any thing (good or bad, torture as well as art) brought to a highly wrought condition, sometimes shading into disapproval.

“Be exquisitely true to yourself”. It evokes a different feeling in my body when I say it out loud.

Go ahead and try it. Can you hear or feel the distinction?

Being true to myself might mean, “I’m going to get that outfit because I want it so much!” That’s true, right? Yet, when applying the filter of exquisitely – extraordinarily fine, of rare excellence, execution, keenly, delicate, meticulous, and the concept of choice to being true to myself, it completely reshapes the meaning to me.

What’s different is the inclusion of awareness of the impact my choice can have on others. Whatever truth shows up has been meticulously and delicately refined and considered prior to executing. There has been no rushing here. Care is taken thinking about different scenarios that could result from exquisitely following my truth. Is this purchase feeding an impulse and in alignment with your values, or just the previous? Much thought and care is put into considering the consequences that may result from the act of being true to oneself.

This awareness of impact is an important part of being exquisitely true to yourself. It’s important to know that when you make a choice to do something different in order to be true to yourself the impact of your choice is greater than just you. Some people will be wildly excited for you and don’t expect everyone else involved to dance a jig and be happy that something in their life is changing, and they don’t have control over it.

Being straight with yourself and very aware of the reasons for your choice will be the stake you’ll hang on to when the ground beneath your feet becomes very unstable. When you have to face the people who disapprove or question your choices this is what will hold you on course. Because it is important to stay on course. To make a different choice is exhausting.

What is your exquisite truth, that if you don’t abide by it, it will continue to create upheaval and chaos all over your life? What truth inside you keeps poking you, demanding your attention and making you miserable if you ignore it?

If you have one of these, you’ll know. It’s the thing that has you hanging on to your safety every day with white knuckles and resenting every moment of it. It’s the thing you long for, the thing that calls to you again and again. You resist the urge to answer it, because it will catapult you out of your predictable life and zone of comfort.

I have one right now. My exquisite true self is the inflated beachball I talk about. It exhausts me trying to keep submerged, to hold it down. It’s not a matter of if it’s going to pop up, but rather, when. Will it be on my terms, or involuntarily? That remains to be seen. I am working hard to make sure that when it does pop up, I will be exquisitely true to myself, taking the time to be aware of the impact and following through anyway because it is the right thing for me to do.

I recently saw a quote that sums it all up perfectly,

“A lot of the conflict you have in your life exists simply because you’re not living in alignment; you’re not be being true to yourself.” ― Steve Maraboli

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Detox in Real Time: Quitting Resistance – Cold Turkey

May 25, 2015 by Sherrie Marchi Leave a Comment

The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.” Steven Pressfield

Resistance will not beat me today.

I am feeling resolve. Finally, I am finally sick and tired of my own bullshit.

I finally see that I’ve yielded to resistance. I’ve let it lead me. I even rolled out the red carpet for it. Placed my hand in it’s creepy, cold hand, as it smiled it’s twisted smile and nodded to me in approval. I have fully given myself to resistance, not even aware of the magnitude of this choice . If I am ever to become unstuck and succeed, I must make some different choices.

For keeping me stuck, however, it does the job perfectly.

Thank you for helping me, resistance. I am ready, now, to set you free.

Thank you, Steven Pressfield for bringing this to my awareness. (see War of Art, by Steven Pressfield)

Okay, so now what? I’m here staring at this blank page right in it’s blank, white face.

“Don’t take it too seriously. Don’t take myself too seriously. Don’t let up. Learn to be miserable. Learn to love being miserable.” Wow. Love being miserable? I never imagined that as a destination. Yet, I know there is a truth hidden in there.

As Steven describes the professional and the amateur, I am keenly aware that I am the amateur. The professional, I’m trying on that outfit right now. It feels strange and looks awkward on me. But, it’s very sexy – I dig it. I can imagine exciting travel, joy, fun, and aliveness in my future, should I choose to inhabit this outfit.

Aha, but here it comes again, I feel the dark, heaviness, and smell the sickening stench of the resistance and it’s cold, creepy, deadness approaching, coming to wrap it’s tentacles around me and hold me tight, as it has every day, for as long as I can remember.

Even saying hello, even walking down the street and not falling in the hole, it’s still too much. It’s like smoking cigarettes, or being pregnant. I either do/am, or I do not/am not. I can’t stand with a leg in each world. I must choose…blah, blah, blah…see, here, now – this is resistance – this mental masturbation crap. If I don’t let it in the front door, it’ll sneak around to the side door, the fucker. I must be water tight, as a frog’s ass. I must put my head down, keep writing and not create so much as a fissure for it to enter.

I’ve invited it in, as it showed up to my days cloaked in mystery, romance and magic. The angst, the struggle of art and creativity, it’s just so romantic. I love that stuff, but I see now that unbridled, it serves only as fodder in the context of my work. There is a time and a place to revel in the miracle those are, however, the workday is not it.

The next contraction is here. Picking me up and shaking me like a present. The resistance is here banging on my awareness again.

This time, it’s showing up as extreme sleepiness. Eyes so heavy…

The first hours of cessation – they’re so wrenching and painful – now giving too much attention to them. Just like quitting smoking. I must remain steadfast, knowing that the crescendo of the assault is yet to hit. The pounding waves in my face that will steal my breath and sweep my legs from under me – I know this dance – and, I will win, for I am finally sick and tired of my own bullshit.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Awareness

January 23, 2015 by Sherrie Marchi Leave a Comment

You can not teach a person something she doesn’t already know; you can only bring what she does know to a higher level of awareness. – Galileo

Awareness is the beginning of everything.

Without awareness, we don’t know, what we don’t know.

Becoming aware is a peculiar cocktail; it’s so easy, yet, we resist it like emeffers.

Allowing awareness in, despite the discomfort that often accompanies it, can be shout-from-the-rooftops, game-changingly liberating and life giving!

photoMany of us have heard the old adage that “Wisdom comes with age”. Unfortunately, for many, the package never arrives. You know how when someone comes over to your house, and you have to open the door to let them in? Opening the door and inviting awareness in allows for learning important life lessons and concepts – wisdom. If the door is sealed shut and water tight as a frog’s ass, wisdom cannot come in. One can be 87 years old and have missed much of the bounty that life has attempted to deliver right to him! Instead, delivery guy just slaps another sticker on the door.

Just because we’re chronologically adults does not mean that we’ve emotionally or spiritually matured beyond our childhood. Look at the way grown-ups behave with one another. Have you ever witnessed someone in a grown up body giving a brilliant and refined performance of “mine, mine, mine”, or “you can’t make me”? (Watch C-Span, sometime – very entertaining.)

By shutting the door in awareness’ face, life can become heavier and more difficult over time. The evidence of this can show up as labored or failed relationships, unemployed or feeling suffocated by a job, broke as a joke, or lot’s
of wealthphoto 2, with no happiness to show for it, etc. If any of this sounds way too familiar, you might have some latches to lift.

Funny thing about the door – we’re often not even aware that it’s locked up, like Ft. freaking Knox.

Sometimes something provokes a large and instant reaction, from us. I refer to this as being “triggered”. Some symptoms of being triggered might be yelling, jaw clenching, shutting down, and inflicting guilt…. you get the picture. These, and many, more, are all ways that awareness knocks on the door. One Printmust get curious and open the door, if wisdom is ever to move in.

Becoming curious about what we don’t know that we don’t know gives way to budding awareness. It’ll require courage, patience, and a highly developed sense of humor.

When we open the door and invite awareness in, we become conscious of what hovers beneath the radar and has been driving the way we react to people, situations and circumstances. Reaction is just that – reaction. No awareness of impact.

Living from awareness = blowing the roof off this party.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

What are your own personal “commandments”

January 10, 2015 by Sherrie Marchi Leave a Comment

Here are a few of mine:

Bust out the compassion
Everyone lives in their own suffering, whether we see it or not. Each day, I get to choose what I put into the world. I want it to be good.

Honor the cycles of life
TabletsWe go up, we go down. That is certain. Remaining firmly attached to our truth during the waves of this cycle is what will keep us moving at the appropriate speed and trajectory, and save us from drowning in the darkest of times)

Melt into what’s here
Be here now. If there’s a shit burger on your plate, that’s what’s been served for dinner. Eat it, or don’t. You get to choose. (You don’t have to like it.)

Take full permission
(Hiding inside of someone or something else’s construct for you will guarantee your comfort, safety and “being right”
(and resentment, complacence, and general bitchiness))

Savor time with loved ones
It’s finite. Live without regret.

Fill your tank with good-quality fuel
Nourishing food, friendships, experiences, What else would you fill your fuel tank with, when heading out on the journey of your life?)

Follow your instinct
(If you get a strong sense to do or say something, it’s an urge coming from your inner wisdom (much smarter than your brain))

Make a mess
Take risks (that stand to improve the whole of your life, and/or don’t hurt others)

Own your impact
(It’s okay to get messy – just make sure you clean it up)

What are some of your commandments?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The Beach Ball

December 9, 2014 by Sherrie Marchi Leave a Comment

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. – Anais Nin 

We are not static. Humans are constantly changing.

Have you experienced finding yourself restless; angry with your spouse or job? If you’ve been more than occasionally surprised by your irritability, it’s likely an indicator that something is trying to come to the surface.

What is trying to happen? What is changing that is so potentially destructive and frightening that it’s much easier to stay in old patterns than go off into a new direction? Why risk failing, or hurting people you love, even humiliation?

I like to use the metaphor of holding a big beach ball under the water. Resisting it’s bursting forth from the water is exhausting. This use of your life force can take a toll on your health, emotional well-being, energy level, and how you feel about yourself at the deepest level.

Perhaps your mate, your job, or your home isn’t feeling resonant anymore. That can be very alarming.

Fear acts as a buffer between us, and our discomfort; our perceived pain. It’s terrifying to think of upsetting the apple cart. Thoughts like, “I can handle this, its not so bad” may be true, and yet the reality of it continues to crush you a tiny bit, each day.

What might it mean if you allow yourself to consider those things you’re so afraid of?

When will come the day when the risk to remain static will be more painful than the risk it takes to let the beach ball burst forth?

The answers to this question might not be as scary as they seem. It’s likely that there are many pieces collapsed together, therefore feeling very overwhelming. By looking at the pieces individually, it’s possible to regain perspective.

Filed Under: Are you alive?

Can’t be contained

March 10, 2014 by Sherrie Marchi Leave a Comment

IMG_4286I met two extraordinary people today. It’s really quite exquisite – both of them in one day, and hardly an hour apart!

The first was a man hired to make balloon animals at the restaurant where my family and I ate breakfast. My first thought was, “huh, a baloon guy at breakfast – great idea. Keep the kids entertained”.

Upon closer inspection, I spotted it. He had it.

First, I discovered that his balloons were fatter than the normal skinny balloon animal balloons. That difference was only the tip of the iceberg! Next, I noticed that the objects he was crafting were unlike any others I’ve seen before. Now he had my attention. These balloon objects were extraordinary! One looked like a skyscraper, one was a familiar, absorbent, yellow, square character. I’d never seen anyone attempt to make him out of balloons…and the attention to detail – this young man, Ryan, had drawn with marker some extra detail that really put this  – dare I say, piece of art – over the top. Still, not even scratching the surface.

Eventually, as he passed by our table, I nodded and told him I admired his work. That “it” I mentioned, he was in it.

He was in “the zone”.

You know the zone, right? When you lose yourself in what you’re doing, because you totally love it, enjoy it and would rather do “it”, that mostly anything else? Like my husband and fishing.

IMG_4280When I asked him about his work, Ryan confirmed my suspicions. His enthusiasm for his craft was contagious. I asked him how he discovered this way of ballooning, and he shared his story. It was one that I know well and lights me up when I meet others who get it. This was one of those gifts that show up in a package that is completely unexpected.

But, it’s more than that. Ryan unknowingly possessed the willingness to allow for something other than what he’d envisioned. Also, he possessed the fortitude to keep going when the degree he earned in college didn’t earn him a job. And now for the magic ingredient….Ryan didn’t even realize that he was solely relying on his internal navigation when this gift revealed itself….ready for the answer?

HE WAS JUST HAVING FUN!!!!!

That’s all he had to do. He just had fun, and it led him right to a lucrative livelihood where he is in high demand! So lucrative in fact, that he employs three people full time and another few people part time to help him pull off this venture.

I want to reveal to you the anatomy of this jewel: Ryan went to college for 3D animation. He wanted to make movies like Toy Story. That market is IMG_4283so saturated that it was close to impossible for him to find work. Aaaaaand, he had a knack for working with balloons. And video games, too. Ryan took all of these ingredients, mixed them together, added a college degrees worth of animation know-how and didn’t even realize what he was creating when he began pumping out replicas of characters from our favorite animated classics, video games and just about anything we tried to stump him with, with balloons. He liked to challenge himself to adapt characters that we know and love like we’ve never seen them.

He was in a state of allowing and non-resistance. What resulted was a gift in unexpected wrapping. My favorite kind of love story. Love what you do, and you’ll never work a day in your life!

The next person I met was a young lady at a music store. She comes from a traditional ethnic family that chooses the career for their children. Again, she is in allowance of that tradition. To protect her identity, I’ll just stop there. The point I want to make is that even though she very clearly has a distinctive and expert way of playing a certain instrument, has been pursued by a very big entertainment company for her talent, plays in a band and teaches special needs kids while pursuing a degree in what her parents would like her to study, she is still finding a way to do what lights her up. That thing, as you may have guessed, is her music. The way she talked about it – the same way that Ryan looked when he made his balloon creations – give every indication that they are ALIVE. They are reaping the bounty that is here for them, and making a great living and impacting others in wonderful ways by doing their work in the world – making a living while enjoying life – outside the boundary of any container. This is how it can be when we dare to venture outside the box.

I have been in a funk for the past few weeks after losing my dad, and my focus. Today, meeting these people reminded me of what I need to do. Thanks Ryan and girl at the music store!

If you’re in the Chicago area and need a special kind of balloon guy, you may reach him here: http://rcjuggles.com/Performers.html

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What my clients say...

Laura

“I just have to thank you because I feel AMAZINGLY JOYFUL after today's call! As we reflected back on all the ways in which I have changed since our coaching began, I felt not only a deep sense of accomplishment and pride, but also profound joy and gratitude. You have coached me through some difficult times in my life and helped me get "unstuck" from old habits and old thinking. Now, through our coaching, I am creating a life that honors my past, finds joy in the present, and has confidence in the future. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your talent, your insight, and your encouragement. IT'S MAGICAL!”

Laura — Elementary/Gifted Education, Daughter, Sister, Spouse, Mom, and so much more

sherrie marchi
2016-02-15T17:46:53+00:00

Laura — Elementary/Gifted Education, Daughter, Sister, Spouse, Mom, and so much more

“I just have to thank you because I feel AMAZINGLY JOYFUL after today's call! As we reflected back on all the ways in which I have changed since our coaching began, I felt not only a deep sense of accomplishment and pride, but also profound joy and gratitude. You have coached me through some difficult times in my life and helped me get "unstuck" from old habits and old thinking. Now, through our coaching, I am creating a life that honors my past, finds joy in the present, and has confidence in the future. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your talent, your insight, and your encouragement. IT'S MAGICAL!”
https://sherriemarchi.com/testimonials/laura/

Jon

“I have benefited greatly from having Sherrie as my coach and would recommend her to anybody.  She is very skilled in the principals of co-active coaching, and this combined with her no-nonsense approach and amazing intuition make her very effective at helping to invoke the change I desire in my life.”

Jon — Director & CCO, HR and General Affairs, Coach, Son, Spouse, Dad, and so much more

sherrie marchi
2016-02-15T17:47:30+00:00

Jon — Director & CCO, HR and General Affairs, Coach, Son, Spouse, Dad, and so much more

“I have benefited greatly from having Sherrie as my coach and would recommend her to anybody.  She is very skilled in the principals of co-active coaching, and this combined with her no-nonsense approach and amazing intuition make her very effective at helping to invoke the change I desire in my life.”
https://sherriemarchi.com/testimonials/jon/

Debbie

“One of Sherrie's greatest strengths as a coach is her strong sense of intuition and her willingness to take risks articulating her intuition. When working with Sherrie, she used her intuition to articulate metaphors for any given situation - these metaphors were often accurate and more importantly they helped me see the situation more clearly and from new perspectives. Her strong commitment to our process created a sense of togetherness - a supportive, safe space for me to be vulnerable which enabled me to do my strongest work.”

Debbie – Senior Research Director, Daughter, Mom, and so much more

sherrie marchi
2016-02-15T17:48:47+00:00

Debbie – Senior Research Director, Daughter, Mom, and so much more

“One of Sherrie's greatest strengths as a coach is her strong sense of intuition and her willingness to take risks articulating her intuition. When working with Sherrie, she used her intuition to articulate metaphors for any given situation - these metaphors were often accurate and more importantly they helped me see the situation more clearly and from new perspectives. Her strong commitment to our process created a sense of togetherness - a supportive, safe space for me to be vulnerable which enabled me to do my strongest work.”
https://sherriemarchi.com/testimonials/debbie/

Mark

“Sherrie has taken me on a journey that I previously was unaware of. A journey of looking deeply at my life.  It is a journey that was just waiting for me to begin.  An adventure that filled my life with happiness, joy and contentment.  I could not have made this journey without her, and I am so grateful for the work we’ve done, and to have her in my life.”

Mark — Actor, Son, Brother, Spouse, Father, and so much more

sherrie marchi
2016-02-15T17:49:23+00:00

Mark — Actor, Son, Brother, Spouse, Father, and so much more

“Sherrie has taken me on a journey that I previously was unaware of. A journey of looking deeply at my life.  It is a journey that was just waiting for me to begin.  An adventure that filled my life with happiness, joy and contentment.  I could not have made this journey without her, and I am so grateful for the work we’ve done, and to have her in my life.”
https://sherriemarchi.com/testimonials/mark/

JoAnna

"Coaching with Sherrie provided me an amazing and unique opportunity to have someone willing to meet me where I am, and help establish a custom winning game plan to move forward with what I want! Sherrie's custom game plans helped to pull me out of a longtime rut and got me moving back in the direction of my goals. After having to drop out of school, as I was dejectedly shuffling myself through a mindless job, I teamed up with Sherrie and soon we got me moving back in the direction of my dreams at MY PACE."

JoAnna — Jackie of All Trades, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, and so much more

sherrie marchi
2016-04-02T04:26:58+00:00

JoAnna — Jackie of All Trades, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, and so much more

"Coaching with Sherrie provided me an amazing and unique opportunity to have someone willing to meet me where I am, and help establish a custom winning game plan to move forward with what I want! Sherrie's custom game plans helped to pull me out of a longtime rut and got me moving back in the direction of my goals. After having to drop out of school, as I was dejectedly shuffling myself through a mindless job, I teamed up with Sherrie and soon we got me moving back in the direction of my dreams at MY PACE."
https://sherriemarchi.com/testimonials/joanna/
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sherrie marchi

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